In a scandalous display of tit-for-tat, the Hackers almost refused to take to the field today. This was prompted by the refusal of the Lothern Dolphins to play until their savage woodland cousins removed their angry tree from the centre of the pitch. Not to be outdone, the Hackers demanded the re-styling of the Dolphins’ hair to something less ‘mincy’ before they would leave the dug-out.
In the end, after several hours and much tutting and hair-flicking, both teams were finally marched onto the pitch at spear-tip by the now-rioting fans. By the time the Dolphins kicked off, the clock had already run well into the first half and it had started to rain...
This match had been billed as Elf-Off: The Stormwind versus the Tsunami Defence, and the ensuing battle could surely leave few disappointed. The Hackers took the early lead before shaking the Dolphins’ confidence with a second touchdown during the High Elf drive. Unfortunately, seeing victory shining like the sun on pretty daisies, the Hackers let their guard slip and the Dolphins pranced home with a touchdown just before half-time, leaving them still well and truly in the game.
Spurred on by their half-time camomile, the Hackers tried once more to break the Dolphin drive with their newly devised ‘Tuna-Net Defence’. However, despite managing to catch the ball that he had just kicked, ‘Zipper’ Hare-Foot was swiftly beaten to the ground, resulting in a much-needed Dolphins equalizer and an injury that will leave him very doubtful for the next game.
Disaster struck for the Hackers in the last minutes of the match. With their usual burst of defiant athleticism, the woodlanders tore up the pitch with the ball to once more put themselves in the lead and most probably claim the victory. Stark-Elm the Reckless, despite his name, slowed as he reached the line, lest he aggravate any old injuries, leaving him vulnerable to the fabled might of the Tsunami Defence. When the wave struck, he was knocked off his feet just inches from glory and the Dolphins, in spectacular manner, launched the ball to the opposite end of the pitch and scored.
Stormwind, not to be out-done, used the final seconds of the match to show Stark-Elm the meaning of the word ‘reckless’. He charged forwards and surfed the Tsunami to the most unlikely of equalizers, saving face for the Hackers, though failing to prove that they were their cousins’ betters.
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