Green Glade Hackers 3 - 4 U Know When U've Been Uglow'd

Another match, another chainsaw-wielding maniac with an elf to grind!

The Hackers took to the field once more with a sense of growing trepidation. Someone was out to get them. They were certain of it. Was it their imagination, or was that the same Amazon whispering into the ear of the humans’ star player that was in the crowd last game?

No, surely not...


Despite a second loss in as many games, the Hackers showed more form against the U Knows than in their previous defeat.

Sporting no less than three Journeymen (or elves) this time, they weren’t short of fodder to throw at Helmut Wulf and his elf-churning secret weapon. Miraculously, despite managing to bribe his way back onto the pitch after the U Knows’ first touchdown, Wulf only managed to kill one of the Journeymen before their second touchdown consigned him to the sidelines.

The Hackers trailed by two touchdowns at half time, and they knew it would take something pretty special to conjure a win in the second half. Unfortunately, though tantalizingly close, the magic never quite happened. A non-existent defence meant that although the Hackers scrambled three touchdowns in the second half, they allowed the U Knows to steal another two in return.

One fan was so angry at yet another poor performance from the wood elves that he lobbed a rock with shocking accuracy and force at Athelan the Wild, almost killing him were it not for the skill of the team’s all-too-active apothecary.

In the end, the U Knows played with some tremendous skill and, with their exceedingly agile catcher, managed to out-elf the elves and beat them at their own game.


Meanwhile, with the final game of the season next week, the Hackers sadly have nothing left to play for but pride as the face ‘Stick It To The Man’, the league’s only Amazon team.

AMAZON!?

Wait a minute...

Green Glade Hackers 0 - 2 Broken Tooth Boyz

Well, the Hackers’ thirteenth match couldn’t have gone much worse, really. After a string of uplifting wins, the elves were already celebrating their next as they skipped gaily out onto the pitch. After all, the orcs were slow, clumsy and extremely dim-witted. What would they know about the art and finesse that is Blood Bowl?

As it turns out, they didn’t need to know anything. Wary of the Hackers’ recent good form, they felt it appropriate to mobilize a small army of mercenaries to grind their opponents into the dirt instead. Even the mighty Varag Goul-Chewer had been persuaded to march beneath their banner.

The result was a veritable elf-hammering, leading to the death of Tarquin Bluebell and the near-crippling of Wardancer Stark-Elm the Reckless.

And that’s not even mentioning the maniac with the chainsaw who was running around!

Even worse, it was that same maniac with a chainsaw who scored the Broken Tooth Boyz’ first touchdown. Despite being sent off immediately after the drive for his blatant breaking of the rules, the referee was convinced by several of the larger orcs (and said chainsaw) that it would be in his best interests to let the touchdown stand...

Most of the Hackers decided rather early on in the game that it would probably be best to stay in the dug-out for the rest of the match, leaving scant few to attack or defend. Under the circumstances, perhaps they should feel glad that they were only beaten by two touchdowns.


As their final matches approach, it looks unlikely that the Hackers will rise above, or stay in, their second place position in the league – and with thirteen matches to go for the Broken Tooth Boyz, they are well and truly on their way to greatness...